It’s the third day after Rolex Shanghai Masters 2018 has ended and I am still under some magic spell of it. It has been nine days of day dreaming for me.
It is very tough for me to describe how I felt before, during and after this unforgettable experience. I think though that our new video on YouTube “Living A Dream At Rolex Shanghai Masters 2018” says it all. However I will also give my best here and try to write few words about it to give you some idea of what was going on inside me during these days.
Let me first take you back to about ten days before the tournament started. I remember it clearly, I was sitting with Livia at Fat Cow and ordering some delicious but not so healthy food. I felt pretty bad, almost worried. Not for the bad food I was eating (I enjoyed every bite of it), but for what was going to happen in ten days. I felt very intense feeling of uncertainty, and in most cases that feeling makes you feel quite uncomfortable. That is exactly how I felt. It’s like going to a math class when you don’t know if professor will give you a surprise test (this is what I had back in high school with my professor Mira, good times).
You really don’t know what is about to happen, and you simply can not know it. All you can do is to prepare as much as you can, physically and mentally. The latter is what I did during that lunch at Fat Cow. At first it was uncomfortable feeling, thinking about it and imagining possible scenarios at the Masters. Unfamiliar feeling and huge uncertainty if I will be able to perform on the good level and prove my quality. Prove that I belong there. Make some people around me proud. And most importantly prove myself that I really deserve it. Now as I am writing this I am getting very emotional again. It was really a lifetime experience.
At that moment, only a tinny doubt in myself and in my ability to deliver high level when put on spotlight gave me terrifying emotion and filled my whole being with some sticky and dark fear.
Fortunately, it was just a moment or two. I let those thoughts go and I quickly found a way to see everything from a different view. I saw myself as being in the zone, relaxed but excited to go for it. To go for it and take it. Seize the moment. I imagined myself hitting those balls cleaner and smoother than ever before. I imagined the players, the crowd, the nerves under my skin, like icy cool electricity that made me extra alert and ready. I imagined my feet dancing for life. And guess what? I absolutely loved that feeling.
In the following few days, the only thing I was focused on was to keep imagining it as much as I can and to get familiar with that projected feeling that I would have when the show time comes.
More on this very soon…